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[upbeat music]

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- [laughing]

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I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

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- Mary, please. This is
supposed to be your show.

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- But it's so funny.

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- Fine, I'll read your part.

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[sighs]

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Secret footage was leaked today
of a late night video chat

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between Swellview's own
Captain Man

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and Swellview's own Jeff.

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That's right, Captain Man...

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[chanting]
all: Captain Man! Captain Man!

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- Captain Man to the Man Cave.

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Captain Man emergency.

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- You're Captain Man!

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- And you are correct.

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- And Jeff.

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- Oh, it's Jeff!

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- I'm a real criminal.

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That was my last hammer.

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- Jeff! Jeff!
- Jeff! Jeff! Jeff!

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- We've got the video,

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but we should warn you
that it involves

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grown men wearing
very tiny shorts.

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- [laughs]

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- Oh, man.

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What is it about
eating peanut butter and jelly

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right off your fingers,
straight out of the jar

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while also playing "Fortnite"
at 3:00 a.m.

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that makes it taste so good?

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- I think it's
the peanut butter

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and the jelly

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and the fingers
and the jar

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and the "Fortnight."

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And I just killed you, bro!

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Yeah!
- What?

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Oh, come on!
This game is rigged.

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- Oh, now some six-year-old
just killed me!

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- [laughs]

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Yeah!

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- Go! Go!

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- Mm-hmm.
- Go! Come on! Take it!

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Take it all! Go! Go!

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Yeah! Yeah!

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He did it.
- Yeah!

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- I can't believe he did it.

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- Boom.
- [laughs]

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You want me to teach you
this new ClickClock dance

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I learned last night?

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- Uh, yes.

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- Yeah, you do.

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- Are you kidding me?
- Pop, pop, pop, pop.

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- I'm doing it. Pop, pop, pop.
- No, come on, Pecs.

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You can pop better than that.

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- Don't objectify me.

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Unless it's a compliment,
then that's fine.

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Come on!
- You don't wanna pop it.

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- It's so hard.
- You know you wanna pop it.

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I can see you
wanting to pop it.

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- [grunting]
- Back, back,

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poppin' it back, back, back.

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- [shouting]
- Pop it!

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- [yells]
- Pop it!

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- Ah!

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[groaning]

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How long were we practicing
that dance?

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- 90 seconds. Oh, God.

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- I mean,

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I could be a bad guy.

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- Yes. Do it.

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- I'd make a great bad guy!

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- You'd be
the second best criminal

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this town has ever seen.

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- Oh, yeah? Who's the best?

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- You're lookin' at him.

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[laughs]
Yeah.

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- I'll call Drex
and tell him you said that.

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- No! Don't call Drex.

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No, no, no, no!
- Too bad.

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I'm gonna call him right now.
- No, don't call him.

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- Hello, Swellview Prison?
- No, hang up.

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Hang up.

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- Any response to that video,
Jeff?

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- Only that I apologize
to Drex.

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I'm sorry.

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And also, I'm single.

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And these shorts
look even better in person

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than they do on video.

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Huh? Check that out. Yeah.

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Okay, bye!

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- Captain Man,
any response to the fact

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that you eat
peanut butter and jelly

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with your hands...
- Gross

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- And wear very tiny shorts in
the privacy of your own home?

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- See, actually,
I didn't mind that part.

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- Well, Captain Man?

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- When I find out who leaked
those videos, I'm gonna...

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I'm gonna...

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- What?
- Yeah, what?

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- What are you gonna do?

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- You're stuck in quarantine
like the rest of us.

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- So what are you gonna do?
- What?

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- Yeah, what?

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- Something bad!

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♪ ♪

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- Well...

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which one of you leaked it?

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Hmm?
- We didn't leak anything, man.

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- We already told you--
- Dude, chill out.

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[overlapping chatter]

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- Ah, you're all lying.

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- We're not lying.

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- Yeah, man.
Usually, you and Schwoz

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are the ones lying to us.

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- [gasps]

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When have we ever lied
to any of you?

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- [scoffs]

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- Where you going?
- I gotta take my aunt

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to the cleaners.
- She' so huge

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she needs to be cleaned
in a car wash.

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- Who was that?
- My hairdresser.

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I'm late for my appointment

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at the haircut store.

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What are you doing here?
- What are you doing here?

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- Fighting crime.

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- That's funny.

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I thought you were
at the haircut store

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getting frosted tips.
- Mm.

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- Okay, fine.

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- I know one of you leaked it.

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- Why would we leak
embarrassing videos of you?

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- Uh, because I'm handsome
and I'm strong

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and I'm hilarious,
everyone loves me,

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and I'm humble

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and I'm very self-efficient.
- Ray, where are you going

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with this?

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- You guys leaked the video
'cause you're jealous.

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- Of what?

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- Of me! Because I'm handsome.
- Oh, my God.

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- Okay.
- I'm strong, I'm hilarious.

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[overlapping chatter]

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- Stop!

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- Okay, all right.

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Okay, okay.
We'll play your way.

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You guys don't wanna tell me
who leaked the video?

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Okay, fine.

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But I'll tell you what,

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you're all gonna pay.

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All of you.

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- Mm, I've got...

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58 cents.
Will that cover it?

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- No.

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[rock music]